The Love and Loathe of NaNoWriMo

Wed, 03 Oct 2007 10:59:00 GMT

The main computer of the NSA had been subject to many attempts of hacking during the past years. Well, who would not love to take a glimpse at the super secret material?
Yet this hacker was different.
Not only had he been ignoring the "Build your own - a selfmademan's guide to nuclear weapons" article and the HMS Gayflower plans. He was also just not quite human.

Computer Gecko smiled when another part of the firewall broke down under his rabid mouse clicks. He was only some more password checks away from the core. Within minutes he would be the first unauthorized viewer of the most intriguing content ever, the holy grail of his hacker career.
The Agency's porn folder.

He was only one more click away when his eyes widened in shock. Kröthild the turtle had entered the room, now posing in front of the computer screen. Written on her shell was a message of terror. Gecko stared at the fine lines of sidewalk chalk, forming letters and numbers before his eyes: NaNoWriMo 2007

A thunderstorm arose outside, when Gecko whispered in a dark voice of doom. It's this time of the year again...

--
(No computers were hacked during the process of this article. No porn watched either. Which leads to Gecko feeling kind of sad and lonely, so I can't say that no animals had been harmed. But Kröthild is fine. Promise.)

Sat, 14 Oct 2006 10:26:17 GMT

A rather ordinary day. Nothing of great interest happening. So Sassh surfed the web and found a site with lovely icons for NaNoWriMo participants.
http://community.livejournal.com/nano_icons/

Interview: Minui

Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:29:38 GMT

Good morning, Minui. Nice to have you here. How are you?
Good morning? Good morning?? My morning was horrible, I discovered a zit in my face. Just imagine!! I thought I could not leave the house today, looking so monstrously... but as you can see, make-up did a great job and I've regained my natural beauty.
You look gorgeous.
Really? Now you're exaggerating, aren't you?
Well, I bet Gecko is mentally undressing you at the moment.
Aaaaarh! Freak!! Stop looking at me like that!
I've heard you play the piano?
Oh, I think I'm not bragging when I tell you that talent lies in my family. You know mum is a fabulous singer at the opera, and my little sister Alice dances ballet. And yes, I had piano lessons when I was younger. In my humble opinion I did quite well. But now I need all my time for other things. You know, it isn't easy being popular like me.
So you have different hobbies now.
Yes, so true. Boys, fashion, love, boys, real music, going out, and oh, did I mention boys?
What do you mean with real music?
Come on, you know that. The good stuff. Not those classical symphonies and operas, those are for old ladies who live alone with their dozen of cats. Modern music. Like Platinum Hesitation. I love Platinum Hesitation. Their lead singer is incredibly cute.

The Diva appears

Thu, 12 Oct 2006 09:57:52 GMT

Computer Gecko was almost breaking the highscore on Revenge of the House Fly. Almost.
He got interrupted by the familiar sound of the refuge's doorbell.
With a heavy sigh he looked around. Neither Sasshkazar nor the turtle were present at the moment. So there was no one to open the door but him.
He opened the door.

A rather beautiful blonde girl stood outside, and she waved with something Gecko recognized as the Morico banner. (shown the post below)
"I have to make a complaint.", the girl said.
Gecko suddenly stopped imagining the naughty things he could have done with this lady. "A complaint? Why?"
"I am not on that banner!!!", the girl shouted. "How'd you dare to leave out an important person like me? ME!!! Those two pesky little bastards wouldn't even be there without ME!! Got that?" With a sharp manicured finger nail she pointed in Gecko's direction. "Who was the first one to enter the letterworlds? Who brought Alice and Pebo there? Huh?"
"Minui did."
"Yeah, honey. Minui did! And Minui is me. So what is your totally stupid and unbelievable and furthermore irrelevant reason to not include me?" She didn't leave Gecko any time to answer. "As you know, honey, I'm more important and far more beautiful. So I should really have been on the banner. But out of the goodness of my heart, I will forgive you. I will even give you an interview, though you don't deserve it."
She grabbed her filofax and thought for a while. "Tomorrow. At Meraviglioso Mondo's. You may invite me to a cappucchino then." Afterwards she put the filofax away and left the refuge.
Gecko just stood there and stared, and looked rather confused.

We proudly present...

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 20:08:01 GMT

Yes, it's true, now we have an official banner!

- isn't it beautiful?

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 12:24:12 GMT

Kröthild checked the mail and looked at Sassh. "You know you should work on your problem with authorities? I guess it wasn't neccessary to tell those police guys-"
Sassh grabbed the official looking envelope. "An admonishment? Those $%§! freaks send us an admonishment?"
They did.
"It says we have five days to decide on a genre", Kröthild said with a headache.
Meanwhile Gecko was browsing the internet. "Here", he replied, "that may help!" and pointed Sassh towards some quiz links.

What kind of novel should I write
What genre are you
What should you write about
What book genre are you

Sun, 08 Oct 2006 19:33:05 GMT

The sound of a doorbell ringing usually means something exciting is about to come. An unexpected visit from a close friend, maybe, or the delivery of that little parcel wrapped in unsuspicious paper.
Having said that, the doorbell rang.

"Who could it be?", Kröthild wondered.
"I bet Sassh went to the library and has forgotten the key", Gecko said.
Sassh raised an eyebrow. "I'm here. Just in case you haven't noticed."
Gecko, of course, gave Sassh nothing but a short confused glimpse and returned to the computer where he was playing Revenge of the House Fly. "In that case", he said, "I don't know who it is."
Sassh grabbed Gecko and threw him in general direction of the refuge's door. "Go find it out then!"
In the meantime Kröthild, imaginary yet practical turtle, went to open the door.
Outside stood two men in business suits, who looked like... um... er... men in business suits. One of them raised an official looking ID card and showed it to the team. The other one got a flying Gecko in his face.

"Genre police!", the two said unisono. "We've heard you are planning to write a novel in here..." (rhetoric pause) "A novel. Is that right?"
Sassh stared at them both. "You're pronouncing novel as if it were a bad thing."
The slightly younger looking one smiled. "No, of course not. We just need to record all noveling activity in this sector. And, of course, the even more important part: what genre the novel will fit into."
"Of course."
"So..." The other one fetched a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, looked at it and decided to put it away again. "We just skip the flying lizard part for now..."
"I'm a gecko.", insisted the lizard.
"A gecko. Right."
The policeman obviously felt more comfortable talking to human beings, he nervously looked at Sassh and tried to smile politely. "What genre would best describe your novel?"
Sassh shrugged. "Historical humourous epic dark scifi cyberpunk gothic adventure fantasy pansexual transgender furry thriller pirate ninja vampire magical talking spoon aberrancy?", Kröthild suggested.
"I'm sorry.", said the other policeman. "Common laws require each novel to be defined in a genre by not more than two words. And it has to fit in that genre."
Gecko and Kröthild looked at each other, and then to Sassh. "I have two words for you.", Sassh replied. "Bugger off."

My trashed plots own your trashed plots

Fri, 06 Oct 2006 09:51:36 GMT

And now onwards to some stats of the novel-to-be.

Working title: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Ancient Day
Mind you that it has nothing to do with Dr. Jekyll. And it has nothing to do with Mr. Ancient Day either. Though he gets a cameo appearance.

words: 0/50000 << obviously
headdesk count: 3 << starting early, are we?
trashed plots: 5 << trashing the same plots over and over. And recycling again.
alcohol count: 0 << we don't encourage drunk writing. But it helps.
caffeinated drink count: 0 << it's still excitement that prevents us from sleep
mccic count: 1 << that's mint chocolate chip ice cream, for those who skipped the last post
vanilla factor: 98% << gotta work on this
sanity: 84% << and decreasing

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 09:47:01 GMT

Just in case you want some handy information about the team and its props. We know we do.

Computer Gecko typewriter, secretary, slave disc and ghostwriter of Sassh all the same
Kröthild the imaginary turtle, muse of Sassh. Actually a tortoise, but imagine her as a turtle
Sassh Ordo Reptiliis Honoris Causa
The spider webs Left by the previous owner of this place. May or may not prove themselves useful in the catching of new novel ideas that float around in the air
The Magical Button That Causes Everything part of Gecko's keyboard, malfunctioning all the time except when you don't need the MBTCE
Google is your friend. Especially when you look for bewirken in english and the first result is a swedish online dictionary while the second result is an essay on scientology.
The big pile of St Andrew's crosses gathered together throughout months from railroad crossings, railway signs, national flags, a martyr museum, heraldry books and a maritime M. No relation to BDSM whatsoever. Nuh-uh. Nope. (who let you out of the dungeon, by the way?)
The Good Internet Connection because all heros need to have good internet connection. Ours is actually lousy, but that doesn't make us less of a hero.
Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream the most important part of noveling. Gotta love mint chocolate chip ice cream. It's ice cream. It's minty. It's cool. It's delicious. It has chocolate. And it has five effin words^^
The Bucket at the Entrance Welcome fellow Wrimos, here be to deposit your sanity. You won't need it during the event anyway, so it's best to store it at a safe place. Drop it all into the bucket, and we promise not to sell it on the black market. At least not as long as the price is that low.

Team Morico

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 18:30:52 GMT

Sasshkazar, or Sassh for short, self proclaimed leader of the team Morico and the chaos within, entered the room and looked carefully around.
"So this will be our new refuge, eh?"
With that certain look on the face that could be described best as undescribable, Sassh poked one of the spider webs in the corner with a stick.
"Well, it isn't the Ritz or the Hilton or for a matter of fact not even my auntie Helene's bedroom..." the gecko admitted, as he looked up from the computer screen for a short period of time. "But it will do, doesn't it? Bring on Kröthild and the ice cream, and we'll be all set for november."
Sassh didn't look convinced.
Not at all.
Maybe the main reason for this was, that Sassh indeed wasn't convinced at all.
But there wasn't much time to think about it.
"Naaaaanoooo here I coooooome!" With this joyous scream Kröthild, the imaginary turtle, swirled through the room past Gecko and Sassh and landed in the big pile of St Andrew's crosses in the lower left corner.
The universe gasped in awe and there was complete and utterly silence for almost five nanoseconds.
Afterwards, the team went for some more mint chocolate chip ice cream.